◄ §♂⌂NÇ K↕┼ ►'s blog

I'm playing DnD!!

2011-06-10T00:32:00.000-07:00

This is one of the few DnD sessions that I've been joining, interesting stuff. Its a very interesting part of the session :P

Guess which one is me XD

http://dicenbuttons.tumblr.com/post/6361535310/the-lyrium-lay-last-night-my-gaming-group-ran

Just something i wrote for my writing class on happiness and well-being

2011-06-10T00:29:00.000-07:00

My view of well-being mainly consists of internal peace, self-actualization and having your needs met. Internal peace in better terms would be contentment in every possible way or simply having most of your wants satisfied, self-actualization is essentially being the best you that you want to be, and having your needs met is having the needs every human being has fulfilled. It would seem that the first is quite impossible to achieve, that is, to have everything that you might want, and that is partially true. Erich Fromm, explains two different forms of existing in his book To Have or to Be, which is being and having. People that base their existence, their sense of self and by extension their well-being on having would nearly never achieve the first, and because of that never really have well-being. People that be on the other hand are much more likely to attain internal peace and self-actualization.
The first thing I should address however, is needs. Human beings have many needs that range from material to emotional. I would define having your needs met as to not being deficient in either. Material needs, or material well-being, consists of the usual things, having a roof over your head, food to eat, clothes on your back and anything that makes life convenient to allow social participation and autonomy, as per Michael Marmot. Emotional needs include the need for love, joy and security, which one would normally get from their family, friends or spouse. While it is not necessary to have much of any of these mentioned above to be considered having your needs met, it is still important to not be lacking in any of them. To have all your material and especially emotional needs met is not easy, but it is not too daunting to achieve either.
Internal peace and actualization however is much more difficult to come by, especially if your sense of identity depends on having. A person whose sense of self is base on having essentially places his identity into the things that he has, such as cars, mansions, money and even power. And by basing his identity on such things, it creates an anxiety and also an unending hunger for more. A person that has fears losing his possessions, as it would amount to losing himself. This dread creates a sense of insecurity which also helps to feed the aforementioned unending hunger. A person always desires to grow, to expand the self, and a haver does so by attaining more, more wealth, more power. However, having more also creates a greater fear of losing what he has, and this insecurity urges him to attain even more, creating an unending cycle of want. Not every one of them experiences this cycle though, but all of them experience the fear in losing what they have. This fear also creates a distrust for others who might covet what they have, thus alienating them. A person that has would be fearful of death as he tries to cling to his material belongings even as he dies while knowing that he would lose them, a monument to which is the Pyramids, the attempts of the pharaohs to being their material belongings with them to the afterlife. It is this very cycle of want and the fear , that stops any haver from achieving internal peace.
A person that bases himself on having is not actualized because I believe that any person that is truly actualized would never base their identity on material and fleeting things. Thus it would be right to say that it is not the form of having that stops actualization, though the fixation on it would, it is more the lack of actualization that leaves a person to base his self-identity on what he has.
On the other hand, there are those that base their sense of self on being. A person that is I believe is much closer to self-actualization, as he focuses more on being himself than to be something he does not want to be to attain something that he does not truly want. He bases his growth on his experiences and thus his progress by what he does in life. A person that wants to be would respond spontaneously to life, with courage and yearn to be productive with their hands or with ideas. This leads to or, it could be argued, is led to by actualization. A person that is focused on being enriches his life with nourishing things as he hungers for life, on the way growing as a person, thus actualizing. It could also be seen that a person that is actualized would be more focused on being and would go forth and live his life fruitfully, either way, being and actualization go hand in hand.
Internal peace is then achieved as easily as being, as a person intent on being gets what he wants with the simple act of existing. While of course more pleasant experiences would be preferred, but a person that is would experience adversity as an opportunity to grow and experience something new or challenging, rather than an obstacle to attaining their material desires. It would sound like being focused on being would make a person fear the inevitable end of life, but it is only true for the haver. A person that is would at the end of their life have everything that they have ever done, achieved and experienced which most importantly, are things that they will keep even as they die. A being person also has no reason to fear losing their self-identity, or their experiences, as it is not something that can be taken from them, short of dementia. Internal peace and contentment is pretty much a given for a person that lives their lives as a being .
In reality, it is likely that no one is fully living in the polar form of being or having but more likely somewhere in between, but to attain well-being we should stop desiring empty things and just be.

Life is like....

2011-03-01T05:40:00.001-08:00

Driving on a road. The idea came to me when - I was driving, no surprise there.

I would go about writing this structurally, but then again that's not how my mind works.

Firstly, everyone likes to think that they're good drivers (like myself), when they actually are terrible drivers ( life myself). In real life, people go about thinking that what they do is right, and what everyone else is doing "to them" is a terrible and a crime punishable by death by puppies. And rarely, they realize (like myself) that they suck at driving, and not because they don't have the capacity to do so, but because of bad choices and habits. Same thing with real life. We are not incapable of being successful, we have pretty much most of the things that successful people have before they became rich and powerful, our functioning body, and our brain - we just didn't put it into as good a use as them.

People hate getting cut off on the road, or someone that is indecisive on the lane they want to be on, maybe someone that doesn't signal, perhaps someone that's speeding, or going too slow, or talking on the phone, or who cut a red light, or.. the list goes on - but fail to remember that they have done the exact same things before in the past, and may even still be doing it at present (like myself). Applying this to real life, you can look at it from many angles. When people get questions from little kiddies, it takes a real matured mind to understand that to that tiny being, the question might seem quite logical to ask, while to us it sounds real stupid. And they forget, they used to ask the same kinda questions too.

And when people are late, the victim complains and bitches on about "oh my gawd why don't you ever turn up on time...." When they have been late themselves too. People fail to understand that they make the same mistakes you do, FOR THE SAME REASONS TOO, a lot of the time at least. Of course some people do it more than others (like myself) but well, some drivers are worse than others.

And then there is the people in your car, who are most of the time, your family, but as you grow older, it becomes your friends, and then the family that you build. They get on and get off, like in life when people enter and leave, maybe due to disagreements, different destinations or just circumstance. These people you are really close with, and for a time, even if its short, you share the same path and thus at least by proximity, you are closest to them.

And then there are the other people on the road. Most of the time if something happens, lets say an accident, you as a passenger usually side with the people in your car right? An in-group, out-group mentality where the outsiders are always wrong even though your driver clearly went too close...

And on the road there is an etiquette that you have to follow like in real life. And like in real life people don't agree what the rules are. Some people don't like it when someone overtakes them, even though they're slow, and in real life, people with seniority don't like it when someone goes over them from below. Who's wrong, the slow ass or the other?

I would write more but my inspiration has fizzled out for the moment...

Motivation

2010-03-30T18:13:00.000-07:00

Throughout my life, ive seen many people lacking this - motivation. Especially in school. And when i say motivation, i mean a genuine drive that comes from within, and not pressured from without.

Studying hard because your parents ask u to, is lousy motivation from what I know. Studying hard for the ambitions that you have, is better, but if the ambitions are selfish, ive found it to be quite weak for some people. For me, the only thing that could possibly move me to care is people. The thought that suffering happens (and i'm part of the cause) is sickening and painful.

But i digress, motivation is needed for people to function well, or you will slowly find apathy creeping into your life, without even realising it. And this is what kills potential, its wat kills dreams and hopes and ambition.

We all need to think of what motivates us, and if its not good enough, we need someting better.

What i hate ; ignorance

2009-12-13T22:41:00.000-08:00

What I hate

The anger it brings to me,
The suffering it brings to men,
In fables told, it brings bliss,
In truth it causes amiss.

It is ignorance I speak of,
For I see it free and fro.
In ideal, i wish it gone,
For without ignorance,
We are already free.

This was some poem that i wrote for some assignment, but with a new quote that i read from a really smart man, i have formed a thought! (surprising eh...)

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

-Albert Einstein.

I shit you not, thats wat he said.

I believe i have traced all avoidable suffering, that we all bring upon ourselves to one thing, and you have guessed it - IGNORANCE, or to the laymen, stupidity

Just think about it.....
The poor suffer because they do not know the power they have.

That is a form of ignorance right there, and that is also quite a large chunk of human suffering.

The Afghans suffer, because they are mislead by the Taliban into thinking that they serve the will of God.
They are ignorant of what God really wants.

The common people are opressed by their governments cuz they do not realize how many share their thoughts, and of the power they actually wield.

Ignorance, the only plague other than disease.

Are your relationships superficial?

2009-12-13T22:28:00.000-08:00

One of the saddest things i have realized when i sat down to think deep (depressing mostly) thoughts is that most, if not all of my relationships with people in my life is SUPERFICIAL.

By superficial i mean that the "masquerade" is still going on between you and said person. Masquerading means that everything you talk about, and know about each other is just at best on the surface. You talk to each other about the weather, a little about politics, maybe about the latest news on Tiger Woods.... but you dont talk about the real stuff, like your feelings and thoughts about life, deepest wishes, true aspirations, thoughts about god and all....

Just recently, i got slightly drunk after some clubbing, and it was clear as glass to me then, that i should change all that and get real so to say. And by the next morning, as i expected, the notion faded with the buzz, as the usual barrier that stopped me all my life, returns.

People always say things are complicated, and what i realise is that its all quite simple, and that we're just not able to admit to ourselves that we dont have the bloody ballz to do something simple.

Imma go try n grow a pair of those right now, and see where that takes me.

Kindness

2009-05-13T04:42:00.000-07:00

Its not often that you see kindness in this world, especially from strangers. But I have just had my faith returned to me this morning and this is the story

My car got stuck, how it happened is simply cuz my driving still sux.

Within a minute, a man, whose name i didnt get, noticed - he was working on the opposite side of the road chopping chickens.

I waved at him for help and soon he had come over with some of his friends, looking at the mess i was in. they tried pushing and soon they gave up and went back. Minutes later, only he came back with a jack and tried to use it to help me out. Cut the story short i got out and started to thank the people involved, even those that just stood there and watched.

Without further ado, he went back to work before i could properly thank him, so i came over and was gonna give him some money for the trouble, but before i could reach my wallet, he refused. So i shook his hand, and thanked him again, and left.

Why are there so few people like this?

Gattaca

2008-06-08T03:14:00.000-07:00

i've watched this show so many times and each and every time it gets me. It's probably one of my favourite movies ever, dunno why. Its about a not-so futuristic world where we are able to make ourselves better through genetic manipulations, before conception or watever.

I love the quote it gives - There's no Gene for the human spirit.

it shows how with all our imperfections we can exceed what we think as our limits or potentials, how with will alone we can do so much, push our bodies to the edge and over. It strenghtens the belief of mind over matter.

The director has managed to create some sort of fantasy world, where perfection, and the pursuit of it is all there is. You can see how the buildings and the infrastructure of the world in the movie somehow makes it seem so empty, so perfect, and beautiful in a sad way.

The story line and all is for you to find out yourself, but heres a taste, the song from the movie

You seriously gotta watch this movie, if u want it you can torrent it at - http://thepiratebay.org/tor/4121242/GATTACA.1997.DVDRIP.XVID.%5BEng%5D%5BBandwidthWasters%5D

if you have no idea what torrenting is, go and google it, if ur too lazy, ask me, i'll find a way to send u the movie, or u can try to catch it on any movie channels you have.

seriously, u gotta watch this shit

Do you hate people?

2008-05-08T01:15:00.000-07:00

Do you hate people? is there anyone in your life that you really hate? when i say hate, i mean despise with all your heart.

Well, for me, i cant really say i've ever HATED someone b4, but dislike maybe, cause there are people who are just that annoying (yes, more than me).

But the next question i wanna ask you is, have u ever wished that something bad would happen to that person? Would you be the cause of that "happening"?

I had no idea about this until i heard of it recently, but it totally changed my views about other people, especially those that i was talking to.

I was just talking wif my frens, about crap n all that, wasting air n all. That was when she (yes, a chick) said it - the it would be : "you know, i wish that he will fail"

then with that she added - "well, everyone hates him...." the him, would be one of my classmates, not really a friend, as i do not know him well. He is kinda annoying, noisy and all. but i dont dislike him, its his choice to be as he likes. So when i corrected her on her "everyone" telling her that i dont, in fact, hate him, she went like "well, its only you, cause ur a nerd. you aint got feelings" though that was a joke, the "only you" part was later disproved when i asked another 2 of my frens. The people i was talking to, happened to be girls, and the other friends i happened to ask, were both guys.

Its kinda scary to hear something like that. "i wish he will fail." they didnt say it jokingly like you might think, they were dead serious.

to dislike or hate someone is normal, but to want something bad to happen to them is entirely different, i mean, thats like saying "i wish he would get hit by a car." and i happen to know that the "him" had worked REALLY REALLY hard. he doesnt play computer games (like me), or go to a CC (like me), or go shopping (like some girls i know). He actually studies, and memorises and studies some more. He treats his books like gold bars (maybe better).

If he were to fail, i would kinda pity him, after working SO hard, much harder than i do.... somehow i didnt think that other people were like that. And they even acted as though it were normal to want others to fail.....

maybe it might be some sort of coincidence that both the people that said "i hope he will fail" are girls, and that the people that do say that they DONt hate the dude are dudes, but there is the saying "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." maybe there is something scientific about it, but.... well, im still in disbelief that people actually hope that bad things happen to each other...

Masturbation

2008-03-07T01:30:00.000-08:00

Masturbation - this has been a taboo in society for hundreds of years, but the question is why? Many would dare say that it is a sinful act in the eyes of God. That is not necessarily true. I've have studied the views of experts, Christian and Muslim, and many of them believe that it is not. Mainly because, no where in the Bible or the Quran does it say that masturbation is wrong. No commandment, vision or any form of message from God has said that masturbation is wrong, and any that dare say that there is better be able to back it up.

From my research, I have found that masturbation started becoming a taboo during Victorian times. Parents would force their daughters to wear gloves that made it painful to touch themselves, and their sons to wear restraints that made it painful to have an erection. Why? I'm not sure, I didn't look into it much, for it doesnt really matter, the point im trying to make is that MASTURBATION IS NOT WRONG!!

Even babies below the age of one know how to pleasure themselves sexually, so it is therefore, natural. Morally however, the current society looks down upon it, and anyone that does it feels guilty due to this. So let me clarify for all that there is NO reason whatsoever that it should be wrong. People call those that masturbate "losers", "perverts", and "pathetically lonely". I call those that dont masturbate for belief that it is wrong STUPID IGNORANT MORONS.

Masturbation gives ALL the benefits that a person may get when they have sex, with absolutely NO risks that come with normal sex (pregnancy, HIV, lalala). It releases sexual tention, helps those with insomnia sleep, and releases endophins, which make you happier.

There has been a reduce is "reported" rape cases (cause some people are too dumb or "embarassed" to report it) due to pornography and with that, masturbation.

So ANY of you out there that dares say masturbation is wrong, come challenge me with your arguements, i would really like to hear them out, and i would love to be proven wrong.

To add somemore, there has been many, many, many myths concerning masturbation:

1) It will make you sterile
WRONG!! - totally wrong, it has been shown in tests that those who masturbate are totally fine, and are possibly better at sex because they have learned more about their bodies than others, or frankly saying, htey've have practice.

2)It will melt your brain
WRONG!! again, this is the dumbest bullshit i've ever heard, how does making yourself feel good melt your brain, it should acutally be said that if you DONT masturbate ur brain might melt with all that collected tension and stress - that is bcuz masturbation relieves stress and makes u happy (endorphins are fun)

3)it lowers your sperm count -
yup you're right, but that is like, DUH!! but they come back within hours

4)People in relationships dont masturbate
youre right there! MY ASS - they do, sometimes mutually with full mutual knowledge of the fact

5)masturbation stunts your growth
nice try, i masturbate regularly and i'm nearly 6 feet tall.

This is something i found

Are there benefits to masturbation?
Yes. Masturbation can help relieve stress and:
Relieve menstrual cramps
Help for insomnia (i.e. when a person is having trouble falling asleep)
Stimulate the immune system to help build up resistance to common infections.
Release mood elevating hormones
Reduce embarrassing spontaneous erections for teen males
Reduce the number of unwanted wet dreams for young men

Here are the links to my research sources

scientific view

http://www.coolnurse.com/masturbation.htm

christian view

http://www.layhands.com/IsMasturbationASin.htm

Muslim view

http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503545922

but on the end note i would like to add that there is a too much, please don go wanking off (masturbating la) every chance you get...

These research is not fully conclusive, because what i've read might have been 1 sided. Anyone that finds anything otherwise please post it in a comment. I have heard some arguements from the religious point of view which are quite commanding, but also quite vague. So actually, in the religious point of view its kinda 50%-50%. No one is sure if its right or wrong.

Elfen Lied

2008-01-02T04:38:00.000-08:00

Elfen Lied is German for "Elfen Song". It is pronouce as Elfen Leed.

Now, I've watched many shows in my lifetime, MANY. I have noticed that some movies are over rated, cheesy, and all that. I was about to give up all hope on the entertainment industry when i stumbled over this show.

It is an animation series, 13 episodes long (or 14, depending on ur views). It was made by Japanese (bloody geniuses) but has an english version.

By my views the show should be for the mature, none of that 18 and above crap, bcuz, maturity is not determined by age but by the ability of the mind to see ALL things.

This show has gore, violence, nudity and lots of blood, and my favourite of all, swearing. Shallow minded people will say that its just a demented show, full of violence, maybe they're right, but it's one of the most deepest shows i've ever seen, and the song "Lilium" is not bad either, for me anyways, so you guys should watch it if you ever find urself free for like 10 hours.

To get the show, you can buy it, just google "elfen lied". Or you can go see the manga, which has a different story line, slightly at the beginning, a lot at the end. OR, you can ask me urself if u want it for free.

Nearly 4 got... What the hell the show is about... its a gore/violence/DRAMA/some comedic scenes. Its a story about a girl, who lives a life of hell due to the fact that she was 'different'. She has supernatural abilities, and horns on her head, and an instinctive need to kill. the show shows how love and care can conquer all, even self.

Vision

2007-10-09T08:39:00.000-07:00

Everyone has their visions, their opinions. Things are more valuable to some that to others. An example is religion. Im a christian, im supposed to preach to others so that they dont go to hell. But how on earth am i gonna do that, THAT guy thinks they exact thing, in a different religious view, everyone thinks they're right. So, what do we do?

fight. simple as that, the powerful get to impose their views onto others. Everyone fight for their beliefs. There isnt really any good or bad, cept if evil is done for the sake of it, and on purpose, that thats bad. So whos side to choose? ur choice, i made mine, and i aint swapping. I want anyone that reads this to see if i change my allegiances. Im a christian, and with that, i believe that more than half of u r going to hell, cant reli do much about it but pity, i might be wrong and am on a 1 way trip to hell, but i made my choice. My other allegiance is to the abolishment of stupidity and ignorance. Next, world peace, duh. And lastly, I live with a totally open mind, no choice is too extreme (depending on the situation of course). And im gonna fight tooth and nail to uphold what i believe in. So if ur planning on converting me into some sort of narrow minded non christian, good luck trying. But know that i WILL try to impose my beliefs on others, because, i believe what i believe in is the best, and u all r missing out, pity, pity, i might just be going nuts, but who aint

Sitting down to think

2007-10-09T08:31:00.000-07:00

Most of u will ask me, why the hell do u have so much so say? all the ranting about boring politics and stuff you dont know about. Well, i like to listen. If someone speaks nearby, im listening, even if i dont wanna. And i like to observe, how people act, their reactions. And then i like to think about it, askign why when where who and all those.

Why dont people do that? just sit down, and think, listen, read, observe, learn. U call me a nerd, that reads a lot. talk about crap even more. Maybe, but what most of u dont know is that MOST people suffer, die, and suffer some more because of .......... ignorance. They DONT KNOW, and DONT CARE TO KNOW. People seek medicines, cures, doctors, and all those different assortments of therapists, when all they nid is that xtra cup of H2O. Why? because they dont know.

Let me giv u a simple example. A gal drops her ring into the drain, and it goes into the sewers. Her boyfriend, a gentleman, opens up the sewer grater to go in, and dies on the spot. Why? because he didnt know, that collected is that sewer are poisonous gases. Why? no one told him. During his more than 10 years of schooling, he still didnt know that there is poisonous fumes in the sewers.

But generally, why did he die? ignorance, he didnt know, and didnt put in any effort to know. So the next time some nerd tell u some sort of scientific fact, listen, if its useful (history is useless, except in movies) it might save ur life, and much more.

Systems

2007-10-09T08:15:00.000-07:00

What makes us different from cavemen? our technology? giving a caveman a toyota and a core 2 duo comp will not make him any less a cave man. No, its our systems. Logistics. Our ability to use less to do more.

An example of good systems. the US has good system, but lousy voters, i cant believe they would vote for Bush again.... but the US system is good either way. Their law enforcement agencies are good because there are multiple agencies, with different leaders. This is so that if one goes corrupt, the rest will nail him. The precidency, 4 years per election, quite good, but there are of course better, none that i know of, but there must be better.

Is the standardization good? making the systems for the 'many', the multitude, for the 'average' person? Not anymore.Our genetic variations have grown to be extremely different, medication that is good for one could be poisonous for another. So are our minds, our abilities and interests. The Malaysian education is too standardized. I know there are choices, many choices, but not many get to make those choices. The most common streams are science, arts or accounts. Each has their own sets of subjects. This, is not good. The US system (i think) allows the student to choose their own subjects (with a few exceptions). Standardization is not good because the 'average' is just does not blanket us all. The deviations from the average are too many. What can we do about it? Simple

Find a genius, or some sort of smart ass. Heck, get a whole bunch of them. They make a system. The system is judged by the public, and if its acceptable, its accepted. Why doesnt our government do this? because, well, u know what i think.

EDIT- im happy that people do read my posts and comment on them.... but it is sometimes difficult to send my message.

When i say "system", it doesnt just mean the transport system, the taxation system. What i mean is the totallity, the combinations of ALL our system that forms our everyday lives, the way we think, the way we act, the social ladders, the hiearchies of our society, the whole thing combined forms our life and how we live it.

For example, the cavemen systems. The hierarchy - 1 boss, the rest followers, the dominant male leads all, bigger muscles, bigger chances to be the big man. simple system. but as time went by, we had to improve, or change it, sometimes not for the better.

the most important thing we have to improve now is our education system. I totally believe that it is through our ignorance that we suffer, and the more educated we are, the closer we are to that utopia, that world of enlightenment and stuff...

swearing...

2007-10-07T23:55:00.000-07:00

is swearing bad? depends.... I dont mind, as long as you dont really mean it. If u had gone and read my entire blog, i bet ur first comment would be : wow, thats a lot of swearing. Fuck yeah. Why do i swear? well, for me it sounds nicer. It kinda spices up the sentence... but mostly to get peoples attention, because lets face it, if i were to keep on speaking like this, half heartedly, whos gonna remember what i said? I swear because i care, this way, people know i give a shit about what im talking about.

So, swear if you care, say fuck when u stub your toe, curse someone when u fall down n bang ur head, just as long as it isnt meant to insult

Racism

2007-09-25T07:13:00.000-07:00

Yes, the big question, are you a racist. I bet my ballz u said no. That means you are a liar.

You ask me how i could make this accusation, simple. A simple scenario will prove what i said.

Imagine, you are the boss of a company. You are looking for someone to hire, and there are 2 applicants. Those two people are EXACTLY the same. when i say they are the same, they are the same. They look the same, sound the same, act the same, heck, they have the same name. They live in the same place, they eat the same food, dammit, their genes are the same. The only difference, is their race. One is the same race as yours, and the other is not. Which would u choose?

Told u so, u racist

Now, the issue of racism in my country

These lists cover a period of about 49 years since
>>Independence Day in Malaysia (1957):
>>
>>
>>(1) Out of all the 5 major banks in Malaysia , only one bank is own by
>>multi-racial, the rest are controlled by Malays.
>>
>>
>>(2) 99% of Petronas (the only one petroleum company) directors are Malays,
>>and the former Prime Minister work as Consultant in Petronas.
>>
>>
>>(3) 3% of Petronas employees are Chinese.
>>
>>
>>
>>(4) 99% of 2000 Petronas gasoline stations are owned by Malays.
>>
>>
>>(5) 100% all contractors working under Petronas projects must be "bumi's
>>status" (Malay).
>>
>>
>>(6) 0% of non-Malays staffs are legally required in Malay's companies. But
>>there must be 30% Malays staffs in Chinese companies. And big companies in
>>Malaysia require a Malays hold as director status with 51% shareholder.
>>Which this mean non-Malays own company needs to give their property to
>>Malays. And non-Malays citizen can't really own their business.
>>
>>
>>
>>(7) 5% of all new intake for government police, nurses, army, is
>>non-Malays.
>>
>>
>>
>>(8) 2% is the present Chinese staff in Royal Malaysian Air Force (RMAF),
>>drop from 40% in 1960.
>>
>>
>>
>>(9) 2% is the percentage of non-Malays government servants in Putrajaya (
>>Malaysia main government office). But Malays make up 98%.
>>
>>
>>(10) 7% is the percentage of Chinese government servants in the whole
>>government (in 2004), drop from 30% in 1960. Only 2 position for
>>non-Malays in political status.
>>
>>
>>(11) 95% of government contracts are given to Malays; even it is an open
>>tender. Non-Malays contractors tender the lower price and use better
>>materials can't get the contract that government given.
>>
>>
>>(12) 100% all business licensees are controlled by Malay government e.g.
>>Taxi permits, Approved permits, etc. and all
>>the license are given to government officer families.
>>
>>
>>(13) 80% of the Chinese rice millers in Kedah (north of peninsular
>>Malaysia ) had to be sold to Malay and controlled by Bernas (Government
>>Org.) since 1980s. Otherwise, life is make difficult for Chinese rice
>>millers.
>>
>>
>>(14) 100 big companies set up, owned and managed by Chinese Malaysians
>>
>>were taken over by government, and later managed by Malays since 1970's
>>
>>e.g. UTC, UMBC, MISC, etc. This company now is the sole company.
>>
>>
>>(15) At least 10 Chinese owned bus companies (throughout Malaysia,
>>throughout 40 years) had to be sold to MARA or other Malay transport
>>companies due to rejection by Malay authority to Chinese application for
>>bus routes and rejection for their application for new buses.
>>
>>
>>(16) 2 Chinese taxi drivers were barred from driving in Johor (South of
>>Peninsular Malaysia) Larkin bus station. There are about 30 taxi drivers
>>and 3 are
>>Chinese in October 2004. Spoiling taxi club properties was the reason
>>given.
>>
>>
>>
>>(17) 0 non-Malays are allowed to get shop lots in the new Muar (city in
>>south peninsular Malaysia ) bus station (November 2004).
>>
>>
>>(18) 8000 billions ringgit is the total amount the government channeled to
>>Malays pockets through ASB, ASN, MARA, privatization of government
>>agencies like Tabung Haji etc, through NEP over 34 years periods.
>>
>>
>>(19) 48 Chinese primary schools closed down since 1968 - 2000
>>
>>
>>(20) 144 Indian primary schools closed down since 1968 - 2000
>>
>>
>>(21) 2637 Malay primary schools built since 1968 - 2000
>>
>>
>>(22) 2.5% is government budget for Chinese primary schools. Indian schools
>>got only 1%, Malay schools got 96.5%
>>
>>
>>(23) while a Chinese parent with RM1000 salary (monthly) cannot get
>>school-text-book-loan, and a Malay parent with RM2000 salary is eligible.
>>
>>
>>(24) 10 all public
>>universities vice chancellors are Malays. And politics in universities are
>>held by Malays. If non-Malays want to form a politics parties, there is no
>>way to get approved.
>>
>>
>>(25) 5% - the government universities lecturers of non-Malay origins had
>>been reduced from about 70% in 1965 to only 5% in 2004 with the reason
>>Malaysia Education Ministry give full support for Malays only.
>>
>>
>>(26) Only 5% is given to non-Malays for government scholarships over 40
>>years.
>>
>>
>>(27) 0 Chinese or Indians were sent to Japan and Korea under "Look East
>>Policy".
>>
>>
>>(28) 128 STPM (High Study / A Level) Chinese top students could not get
>>into the course that
>>
>>they aspired i.e. Medicine and doctors (in 2004). Malays with not qualify
>>result can get into the course.
>>
>>
>>(29) 10% place for non-bumi students for MARA science schools beginning
>>from year 2003, but only 7% are filled. Before that it was 100% Malays.
>>
>>
>>(30) 50 cases
>>whereby Chinese and Indian Malaysians, are beaten up in the National
>>Service program since 2003.
>>
>>
>>(31) 25% is Malaysian Chinese population in 2004, drop from 45% since 1957
>>because government are not support non-Malays like government support
>>Malays.
>>
>>
>>
>>(32) 7% is the present Malaysian Indians population (2004), a drop from
>>12% since 1957.
>>
>>
>>(33) 2 millions Chinese Malaysians had emigrated to overseas since 40
>>years ago due to unfair politics.
>>
>>
>>(34) 0.5 million Indians Malaysians had emigrated to overseas.
>>
>>
>>(35) 3 millions Indonesians had migrated into Malaysia and became
>>Malaysian citizens with bumi's status.
>>
>>
>>(36) 600000 are the Chinese and Indians Malaysians with "red I/C" (a
>>temporary identity card) and were rejected repeatedly when applying for
>>citizenship for 40 years. Perhaps 60% of them had already passed away due
>>to old age. This shows racism of how easily Indonesians
>>got their citizenships compare with the Chinese and Indians
>>
>>
>>(37) 5% - 15% discount for a Malay to buy a house, regardless whether the
>>Malay is rich or poor
>>
>>
>>(38) 2% is what Chinese new villages get compare with 98% of what Malays
>>villages got for rural development budget..
>>
>>
>>(39) 50 road names (at least) had been change from Chinese names to other
>>names.
>>
>>
>>(40) 1 Dewan Gan Boon Leong (in Malacca) was altered to other name (e.g.
>>Dewan Serbaguna or sort) when it was being officially used for a few days.
>>Government tries to shun Chinese names. This racism happened in around
>>year 2000 or sort.
>>
>>
>>(41) 0 temples/churches were built for each housing estate. But every
>>housing estate MUST got at least one mosque/surau built.
>>
>>
>>(42) 3000 mosques/surau were built in all housing estates throughout
>>Malaysia since 1970 with full government support. No temples, no churches
>>are built in housing estates that supported
>>by government.
>>
>>
>>(43) 1 Catholic Church in Shah Alam took 20 years to apply to be
>>constructed. But told by Malay authority that it must look like a factory
>>and can't look like a church. Still not yet approved since 2004.
>>
>>
>>(44) 1 publishing of Bible in Iban language banned (in 2002)
>>
>>
>>(45) 0 of the government TV stations (RTM1,RTM2, TV3) are directors of
>>non-Malays origin.
>>
>>
>>(46) 30 government produced TV dramas and films always showed that the bad
>>guys had Chinese face, and the good guys had Malay face. You can check it
>>out since 1970s. Recent years, this tendency becomes less.
>>
>>
>>(47) 10 times, at least, Malays (especially Umno) had threatened to
>>massacre the Chinese Malaysians using May 13 since 1969.
>>
>>
>>(48) 20 constituencies won by DAP would not get funds from the government
>>to develop. Or these Chinese majority constituencies would be the last to
>>be developed
>>
>>
>>(49) 100 constituencies
>>(parliaments and states) had been racist re-delineated so Chinese voters
>>were diluted that Chinese candidates, particularly DAP candidates lost in
>>election since 1970s
>>
>>
>>(50) Only 3 out of 12 human rights items are ratified by Malaysia
>>government since 1960
>>
>>
>>(51) 0 elimination of, all forms of racial discrimination (UN Human
>>Rights) is not ratified by Malaysia government since 1960s
>>
>>
>>(52) 20 reported cases whereby Malay ambulance attendance treated Chinese
>>patients inhumanely, and Malay government hospital staffs purposely delay
>>attending to Chinese patients in 2003. Unreported cases may be 200
>>
>>
>>(53) 50 cases each year whereby Chinese, especially Chinese youths being
>>beaten up by Malay youths in public places. We may check at police reports
>>provided the police took the report, otherwise there will be no record
>>
>>
>>(54) 20 cases every year whereby Chinese drivers who accidentally knocked
>>down
>>Malays were seriously assaulted or killed by Malays
>>
>>
>>(55) 12% is what ASB/ASN (Malays Own banks) got per annum while banks
>>fixed deposit is only about 3.5% per annum.
>>
>>
>>
>>(56) The latest news about the police in Malaysia . Believe that the
>>Malaysia police officer have caught a Chinese girl and punish her with
>>naked body nearby the windows that other people (believe that is police
>>officer) can took video recording via mobile phones. This news spread to
>>China , and finally Malaysia government told to public that is Malay girl.
>>After that there's no more news about the case.
>>
>>
>>
>>And more cases haven't been discovered.
>>
>>
>>
>>So, if any Malaysian read this mail and got extra opinion please add into
>>this mail and forward to everyone who feel this is unfair to other race in
>>Malaysia .
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Your forward mail will be much appreciated.
>>
>>
>>
>>FIGHT FOR YOUR OWN RACE....

The things with the >>, are all true, sources checked and verified. So, a racist government. What a bloody surprise.

Its funny, I was learning ''Moral" in school. Another proof that my country really does suck. The teachers was teaching us about our "freedom to speak". This is the definition in the text book, translated : Every citizen has the right to speak freely, EXCEPT about sensitive issues, like religion and bla bla bla. What the FUCK is that? Are people SO stupid that they cant even see the contradiction in that one sentence?! Freedom to speak, but with limits, isnt freedom supposed to be something without boundaries, and limits?!

I hear this word a lot "perpaduan". Those fuckers, they dare to patronize us like that. I have nothing against Malays, because not all of them are like this government, and I have grown to respect some of them.

If we speak out, we get thrown into prison for 'disrupting the peace'. So much for freedom of speech. Hell, if they say this, I will probably one day open the door to some cop and get thrown into prison or kicked out of the country.

How are we to free ourselves from a government that is racist? we dont, if I could just find some way to send the message, i would tell everyone, chinese, indians, singhs and all the rest, maybe some of the more opened-eyed malays that see the truth, and we should all move away. Impossible, yes i know, but wouldnt it be nice, we'll all leave n see how those fuckers do with themselves, after all we have done for this country, we get screwed, perfect aint it.

PETA

2007-09-25T06:26:00.000-07:00

Vegetarianism. Many swear to it, but I dont really see the point. Yes, animals have feelings, they possibly have souls, the more evolutionarily advanced once probably have thoughts.

I have seen the torture that the animals go through, the genetic modification, but pathetic living quality. They are atrocities compared to what they are naturally made to be.

Simply stopping to eat meat cant do shit. Why? because u call it a symbol of your conviction. I respect that conviction, but look around you, do u see any slaughter houses start to use pain killers because of this? no.

I support their cause, because no creature under and above the sky should in any way suffer. These poor animals suffer from conception. Many go insane from the pain, the pathetic conditions. But am I going to stop eating meat, damn no.

Eating meat is our birth right. I as a Christian believe that god made animals for us to consume. But not in this way, not as factory grown creatures that only get fresh air and proper sun light on their way to slaughter.

What should we do then? It is simple. They do nothing about it, because it does not affect them, its not their problem. So, we make it their problem. How? why u askign me for, im just a kid.

eyes of the beholder

2007-09-20T06:10:00.000-07:00

many of u reading this have probably heard the saying "beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.", or something like that. But what most of u dont understand is the significance of that sentence. It applies to many other things OTHER than beauty.

Like me, many people call me stubborn. To me i am a person with conviction. So am i stubborn or committed? well, we have to go back to the saying - the eyes of the BEHOLDER, the point of view. I hate hypocrites, and probably am one.

I dont support terrorism, but i had some time to think on this. The question is, is Osama bin Laden an evil person? Well, as said above, it depends on ur view. My opinion is dat he isnt, but that his methods are.

U call me nuts, but u must sit down and think, look at it through his eyes. Do u think he is doing what he THINKS is right, or what is wrong? if u dont know, this is wat most have speculated. He is a muslim, and it is their religion to spread their religion.

That means he is probably doing what he THINKS he should be doing, means he THINKS he is doing what he thinks is right. Does that make him an evil person? no. It is his methods. I've had time to look into their religion, n the first thing Mohammad said was to never FORCE anyone into becoming a Muslim. That means he is doing what he THINKS is right (making him a good person) but using the wrong method (making him a 'bad' person).

So is he good or bad? that depends, its hard to say, but in comparison, he is so much more better than a lot of people in this world. I aint making him some sort of saint, but u reli shud look at the situation.

Osama bin Laden, gets NOTHING from what he is doing, that means he aint doing it for self gain. The motive might be glory, a little publicity is nice, but it isnt probable, bcuz no one would do something like dat for glory. Maybe it was for some sort of revenge on the 'infidels', highly possible, but i'll stick with the religion thing.

Now, u say im totally crazy for saying that he is better than some people. Why do i say it then. Look around you, u can see people willing to cheat others, maybe even kill others for money, for materialistic things. Those are people that do evil for personal gain. So which do you think its better, dont look at who, but what.

A person who does something wrong for a cause that he THINKS is right, or one that does what he KNOWS is totally wrong, for some coloured paper (money of course), or maybe oil *hint hint*.

Who?

2007-08-25T09:54:00.000-07:00

Watch this, if ur into politics, u shud understand, eitherway, its funny shit

Michael Jackson

2007-06-13T07:45:00.000-07:00

Yes, Michael Jackson. A freak child molester, or a genuine unlucky person? Let me tell you the story of Michael Jackson, or at least the version I heard.

He was born into a family, and his father forced him to learn to be an entertainer. His father was harsh, and brutal, beating him if he didn't do well.... He grew up to be a star, making great hit songs.

What no one saw, or understood was the condition he had. Michael Jackson has a mental condition where whatever he does, however he tries, whenever he looks into the mirror, he sees a monster. This condition causes him to think that he is ugly.

This is a very serious condition, which can easily cripple and cause insanity. And it was this condition that caused him to go under the knife, changing his nose, his face.

This ruined him, and what came next would be worse. He was accused of molesting a child. Maybe he did it, maybe he didn't, only God and the dead know, but I believe he didn't, and that the family were fucking greedy pigs that wanted to get rich quick. He was probably helping those people, giving them a good time, he might have been one of the genuine people that really wanted to help. No good deed goes unpunished.

And he became white because of a skin disorder.

a poem i wrote

2007-04-24T01:37:00.000-07:00

Yes, i write poems, though i dont plan to be a poet in da future. mebe a part timer, but i like numbers n ill stick to it.

Teachers

Carrying canes as thick as my arm,
Homework as heavy as me.
Nagging and lecturing.
But worst of all,
Caring.

The people of minimum wage,
They rise before the sun,
In hopes of making us see.
We, the naïve people.

They talk till their throats dry up,
In hopes of making us listen.
The world’s a stage,
And we are badly rehearsed.

When all is done,
And the lesson is learned.
We will be grateful,
Perhaps. By Soong Kit

Personally, i dont like teachers, but i wrote this for teahcers day.

What I hate

The anger it brings to me,
The suffering it brings to men,
In fables told, it brings bliss,
In truth it causes amiss.

It is ignorance I speak of,
For I see it free and fro.
In ideal, i wish it gone,
For without ignorance,
We are already free. By Soong Kit

I would appreciate it if u guys didnt steal this, well, not without my permission anyways.... lolx

The people behind the scenes

2007-03-31T06:18:00.000-07:00

If you are like me, attentive, you would probably have seen these people. I'm not saying those 'movies' behind the scenes, but the 'real life' behind the scenes.

These people will be at the back, watching others enjoying themselves, or will be those far back, cheering while others are getting all the glory. Maybe because of shyness, or the fear of attention, these people choose to be behind the scenes. I see them always, and I pity them even more. They have no idea what they're missing.

I have tried inviting these people to join in the fun, but they seem to dislike the spotlight. If you are reading this, you might understand what I'm talking about, you might even be one of these people, or you might think I'm making no sense at all.

If you ever see these people, invite them to join. Be consistent. Ask them everynow and then. If you ARE one of these people, please, join us, you have no idea what you are missing, and in the end, you are the one that has missed out.

Prom - a dream, possibly reality

2007-03-27T03:44:00.000-07:00

Prom. We've seen it on TV, heard about other ppl attending them.... but in Taman Yarl, its a goddamn fairy tale.... I am hoping to bring this dream into reality, something for TY students to actually remember about in this dull school.

Yes, TY has become dull.... when i 1st got here, it was a great place, cool ppl. Now, the prefects are errand boys, teachers are incompetent. If just the principal would ASK a student, what the hell he thinks, mebe, just mebe this chool could be much better. But those ppl on top, think they know it all. Ignorance like that should be a sin if it isnt already.

But anyways, as i was saying, Prom.

I am trying to organise it, i have a few ppl behind me, but im not sure they'll be there to catch me if ever i fall. Im hoping to get support from the interact club, the EB, n mebe some frens here n dere.

All ppl who ever came to TY b4, are invited, pls spread the news, organising this is easy compared to getting ppl to come.

What the fuck is wrong with this country?

2007-03-25T10:23:00.001-07:00

Malaysia..... a country with so much potential, left in the hands of morons. There are some smart people at the top, but very few. They hope that we will be educated, yet, our schools are just pathetic, insufficient teachers, with insufficient text books for sale.... I had to bloody look around for months to find texts books that are SUPPOSED to be sold in school. Some of the teachers are great, willing to do extra work, but the problem is the entire education system. Most of the teachers are under paid, and inexperienced, those that are experienced are over worked.

In some way, Our government is exactly the same as our education system, total fakers. The country is infected with AEDES, and they won't even inform their own citizens. Wanna know why? Because they're afraid they might scare the tourists away. So, they let the tourists come in, get bitten, and infected, and send them back in a coffin.

And the space mission? they're paying millions of dollars to send 2 people to space? for what?! use the goddamn money, pay your teachers, fix your goddamn pot holed roads.

old people...

2006-07-07T07:54:00.000-07:00

man, i knew old people needed us to take care of them, but i didnt know they needed it THAT much.

i went to a nursing home, we went in hopes of making their lives a little happier. when we 1st reached there, most ppl were shy, some werent. i tried talking to some of the old people, but all i could say was, :'hello, are you ok?" and they would nod, WAT DO U FRIKKIN SAY TO OLD PEOPLE?!?! i had, and still have no idea wat old people talk about...

most of the old people there didnt talk much, didnt move much, or didnt know anythign at all, some were paralysed, some had alzheimer, some had parkinsons. i tried to have conversation with some of them, and helped feed a few.

but there is one guy i will probably remember for some time, hes a Malay guy, around 30-40, he was a little ..... retarded, i think he had an accident, but he was ok, he could speak proper english at times, he could sing pretty well for a guy dat has some sort of brain damage, and was kinda friendly. the thing i could remember most was when we were leaving, he asked us to come again..... i dont really think that might happen anytime soon, i feel so guilty bcuz i said i would..... poor singing malay dude....

also, tehre was this paralysed old chinese man, eventhough he couldnt move, he had enthusiasm, he had some sort of authority in his voice when he talked tot eh other old folk, like when the malay dude was making some noice, the chinese dude told him to keep quite, and he did...... maybe he was a soldier or soemthing....

there was also this old lady, that cried everytime we talked to her, maybe we all remind her of her long lost children..... and there ws this guy that had some kind of hole on the side of his head, i think he got shot during the Emergency, he didnt talk much....

but the thing is, i could see the pain, the loneliness, the boredome.... those poor old people, i wish i could help them some way....

my childhood part 1

2006-06-06T10:53:00.000-07:00

if u wanna read this, u gotta be prepared to be bored, really bored.

Ready?

U sure??

Well.... here goes................

all i can remember as a kid, is quite a lot, but most of it was quite boring. so in a vain attempt to not forget my childhood, i have bloody written this stupid blog, for me, and anyone desperate enough, to read n remember.

my 1st memory, is when i was staying in my cuz's house, when i was really young (infant). I can remember i stayed there wif my maid (siti), n my cuz's grandad (dead now, didnt really get to know him). i played lego every single day (how boring is dat?). the reason i was staying there, is bcuz my family went to australia, n tot it would be a bloody waste to bring me, so they left me there, im not sure where my cuz's family was at that time, so i have to go n ask parents.

the second thing i remember, was watching lion king wif my cuz n bro (as i said, boring, its for me, not u) but the weird thign about this memory is, i can see us in 3rd person view (is this the right term?) by that i mean i can remember seeing us from the perspective of the roof.... maybe it was a dream, cant bloody make a diff

the next memory, is on one of my birthdays when i was very young (if this is boring, don say i didnt bloody warn u) all i can remember about it, was dat i got a toy soldier "action figure" (dats wat the westerners call it) n also dat there were A LOT of ppl there, my grandparents, many cuzins, n stuf, sadly, i dont have anymroe parties like dat.... (so sad) mostly bcuz im so bloody annoying (dats wat ppl say), dat every one ran away.. n bcuz its in the middle of the holidays, n everyone goes overseas (but i suspect its bcuz im just annoying, n they dont wanna come, said aint it)

one thign i can (boring) remember about my past is, that i was ussually alone(boring?), wif my maid, or wif my comp or some plastersin (is dat how u spell it?), u know the dough that u use to make little men, n stuf. (boring aint it?) this is mainly bcuz my parents were out working (not sure about my mom..., she doesnt work), n doing stuf, my bros n sis were studying already.... my eldest bro, some times plays wif me, but is ussually not there (sleeping), my 2nd bro, for some reason, hates me (annoying arent I?), or is just pissed off a lot (no difference now...) so he rarely plays wif me, my sis, was always in her room, n i rarely see her. n all i have is my dogs n maid. i liked to pull the hair of one of my dogs, n she would bite me, n i would cry (even dogs think i am annoying, mebe its a skill?).... n my maid is more boring than this blog (once, i tried to teach her chess, didnt work.) and as i got older, i started going to kindergarden, there are some memories that just stick out, like when i was naughty once in kindergarden, n my teacher forced my to wash off my chop (it was a chop on my hand, i got it bcuz i got all correct for my spelling, i think), n the other thing i remember about kindergarden, was when i once copied maths notes, the other way round, dumb wasnt I?(when i say other way around, i don mean back to front, i mean i wrote the numbers the other way around, not upside down, but left side to side.)n also i can remember the song we sang every week (or mebe day, cant remember) we sang the "Auld Lang Syne" or soemthign like dat, go google it. And one of the most embarrasing thing i can remember about the kindergarden, was once, i slept in class ( it think, cant really remember wat i did) n i got brought to the head mistress, when i saw the cane she had, i straight aways started to cry. dam that was embarassing. Once other thing in kindergarden was at exam time, at that time, i didnt know wat an exam was, so i didnt understan why my friends wouldnt tell me the answer to the hard questions. i have faint memory of play time at that kindergarden, we played with water using water bottles, we played with toys (I liked one robot one, but it got missing after i played with it once, couldnt find it...) and sometimes we would play in the playground. but for some reason, they wouldnt let me play in teh playgroudn after school, it had somehtign to do with my parents, i think, they had to be there (my parents rarely brought me to school, even when i was in kindergarden, i was brought to school by mrs Lim, later known as the van aunty, she fetched me to school everyday in primamry, i stopped riding her van since secondary bcuz it was in walkign distance.) another thing i can remeber was once, one of my friends ran, n fell, n lost 2 of her front teeth, but she was still young, n it was baby teeth, so no damage done, it must have hurt though. another thign i can remember was fighting with a pair of twins, i can still remember theif faces vaguely, but i dont know why we fought. one thing i can remember is of one of my friends getting chicken pox, dont why i remembered that. One mroe thign i can remember is when one of my class mates had to go barefoot, bcuz someone vormited on her shoes... n also i remember we had a white dude in our class, for a while, then he kinda disappeared, till we met in primamary. The thign i can remember most is our performance, we practiced a performance when we run around in a circle, waving our arms, n making noice like red indians, and also performing it in some big fancy place.

if u have read till here, u must have problems.

my primary was kinda boring, i played kites, n once my teacher said i was gay for putting my arm over my friedns shoulder, still dont knwo why she said it. and also remembered knowing someone more annoyign than me in standard one, he was one of the teachers's son. moved away around stadnard 2 or 3 for an unknown reason, the teacher didnt move though. im lazy to go "and i remember that", and "another thign i remember is", so im going to put in in point form

1)in standard one, i was punished for not doing my homework, so i had to go outside n do it, one of friends form another class walked by, i changed my facial expression so he couldnt recognise me, some kind of dignity i had then........

2)once i didnt do my homwork, n the gal (pretty good lookign gal to boot) sitting beside me told the teacher, even though i begged her not to tell, wat a good looking ass.....

3)everyday, i woke up late, went to school, came back, did my homework, n went to sleep, wat a depressing n boring childhood

all i can remember at standard 3 was chasing ppl a lot, n making stupid paper toys, bcuz class was boring. n making weird friends, though i changed class the next year (my classes were 1A, 2A, 3G, 4F, 5F, 6F) i was in yoke nam then. standard 4,5,6 were plenty eventful i played chinese chess, i annoyed, n i learned, normal memories, im too lazy to write down here, anyways, no ones probably gonna read all this... (from top to bottom, boring wasnt it?)

i'll post the rest of my bloody boring n depressing childhood in another post, im gonna nid a little shut eye.